A New Song

Almost by accident, I remembered this blog that I'd started several years ago. Something big happened in my life last week. I told a few people who didn't seem to grasp the significance of what God has done. There were a few that celebrated with me (my manager at work was one of them) but I just felt like it wasn't enough; I needed to tell more people about it and express it fully, but how? Then I remembered that I'd put this blog together when the book was first published and maybe it was still out there somewhere on the interwebs. Surprisingly, I found it and was really inspired by the excellent posts, lol! So here I am, in my new prayer chair in my new prayer corner in my new paid-for house,  just starting a new season of life at 65 years old and hope is gaining momentum again - hope that God isn't through with me yet, He has work for me to do and I'll produce FRUIT, FRUIT, LOTS OF FRUIT into my old age!

So last week I went to see my nurse practitioner for a 1-year followup. A year ago, I'd been experiencing intense heart palpitations that started after I'd been over-dieting (really starving myself). I'd lost 30 pounds but had some strange health incidents along the way (that's another story) and eventually made my way to a nutritionist who helped straighten me out but not before my heart rhythm got messed up. I suffered with it for over a year, trying to ignore it, praying and hoping it would just go away.

It didn't. Some nights I'd lay in bed, very aware of my heart struggling to pump blood, and ask God if it was going to keep beating and to make me ready if it was my time to leave here. Then I'd start repenting and finally enter exhausted sleep.

After six months of this, I sought "professional" advice (I hate western medicine! and that's another whole story...). The NP did an EKG and was alarmed and wanted to put me on medication. I wore a heart monitor for 10 days and found out that I was having thousands of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) per day. I went home and decided that I was desperate enough to give up refined sugar and caffeine altogether and see how that affected things since I didn't want to be on medication. 

At the same time I was going through these withdrawls, I started dealing with some deep grief that had to do with my daughter, realizing the horrors she went through as a child and that she had blocked me from her life 2 years earlier (gone "no contact"). I started seeing a counselor at church, who taught me box breathing and EMDR and I began practicing these on my own, especially at night in bed. I began thinking that the emotional grief was affecting not only my spiritual heart but also my physical heart. I found that the EMDR coupled with the breathing could calm the irregular beats within 60 seconds but they would come back pretty quickly.

Then about six months ago I noticed that I hadn't felt the jumping around in my chest in a while. It came back a little but then seemed to completely stop but I wasn't sure if I had just stopped noticing it.

So last week was my 1-year followup. I told my NP that I hadn't felt any PVCs in a while, she flipped through my records and asked, "Did you have a procedure?" to which I replied, "no". Then she asked, "What have you done??" She obviously didn't really believe that they could be gone with no medical intervention. I told her about quitting sugar and caffeine, walking more and getting counseling. Then we did an EKG which confirmed that (drumroll)... they were GONE!

We spent several minutes talking about the things I'd done and she had lots of questions and was as excited as I was. When she left, I had a feeling that she'd be telling her husband about it that night. And I knew that God worked another miracle in my body just like how He formed new neural pathways in my brain and did what the medical community told me was impossible: to get free from depression without drugs.

And now He has caused my my heart to return to its natural rhythm through giving it the things He provided and teaching me how to release the grief. He is truly my comfort and healer and has put a new song in my heart.

      Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
      I will fear no evil for You are with me 
     Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
                                                                                Psalm 23:4 

Amen, Come Lord Jesus 

 

     

        

TFC podcast conversation

 Here's an interview I did with 2 guys from my church. I think it came out pretty well. You can copy and paste the link into your web browser:

https://youtu.be/FOM8tBYIooU

Deliverance From Depression guest article

You can copy and paste the link below into your web browser: 

https://takebackyourtemple.com/freedom-from-depression-bondage/?awt_a=5TCH&awt_l=PD74N&awt_m=3dngsi838MZ0gCH

 Take Back Your Temple Guest Article

My first guest article for a website that has a large following! We have to tell as many people as will listen that there IS freedom from depression and mental illnesses. The world says it's impossible but I'm proof that is it!

You can copy and past the link below into your browser:

https://www.takebackyourtemple.com/freedom-from-depression-bondage/?fbclid=IwAR1wZBjNSyvHFQGWfNclz1hksP9xKIs3v7yNnA9EViX4lxcXNQ0oVcn7rFQ

Sorting Out My Upbringing

It was hard to accept when I realized that all my life I'd been deceived by the Catholic church. I knew that I was in a deep, dark pit and that my training and theology had no application to getting out. But I also always knew that there was a spiritual reality and so I set my Catholic upbringing aside as I went on my quest for Truth - whatever that was. Thank God that He promises that if we seek Him, we'll find Him (Jer. 29:13, Matt. 7:8) and I did.

How this all came about is a whole other story which you can read about in "Out of the Pit"!

As I discovered a gathering of loving women where we studied the Bible, the Light started coming on in my mind and heart, my mind was being renewed with the Truth and I began climbing out of that dark place. We read non-Catholic-approved Bibles which were trustworthy translations of the original texts and we read them for ourselves, out loud to each other. (I personally like the New American Standard Bible, or NASB, because it's accurate and readable.) We prayed and discussed what the Holy Spirit was revealing to us personally and as a group and we used Bible study guides like Beth Moore's Breaking Free. I read the Bible for myself for the first time in my life, with an open mind, wanting to find out whether it was true or not. I asked questions, I looked for how it all fit together and I tested it by applying it to my life. But the Word by itself, prayerfully read, asking God to reveal His Truth to me, is what contained the power to save me, heal me and bring me out of the pit.  What I discovered was that it was very much about matters of the heart and being reconciled with Him through Jesus. It was very practical and all about the actual life that I was living. And it worked.

I also realized that this was not what I been taught in all of my religious upbringing. I'd been through eight years of Catholic gradeschool, four years of Catholic university and countless masses and other rituals but what I was learning was all new to me. What we had studied was man-made philosophy and theology with a little scripture sprinkled in to give it credibility; it was not at all based on what scripture actually said. The idol worship (the "Blessed Mother"), the praying to saints and angels, thinking we have to go through a priest for our sins to be forgiven, the idea that any human can be infallible (the pope) and all of the practices and beliefs which are only held by Catholics can't be found anywhere in the Bible and are, in fact, in direct opposition to what the Bible says. I was very angry and felt deceived (I had been) when it dawned on me how much of my life had been wasted from being built on lies and how difficult and painful it had been to get out from under it.

I had been lied to repeatedly and purposely, indoctrinated into an organization that's all about rules and control and twisting God's Word to build a powerful empire for men. It wasn't my parents' fault because they were deceived too but it was no innocent accident. It was bigger than I'd realized and had been going on for over a thousand years. Now I see why the enemy fought so viciously to keep me where he had me. It wasn't just one soul at stake; it was about exposing a well-built deception that had millennia of time and effort invested in it. That's what he didn't want to get out.

So how do I know who to trust and what church to be a part of? Basically, I've learned that if we keep God's Word in our hearts and minds, the Holy Spirit gives us the ability to discern who and what organizations are in agreement with it and which ones aren't. Sadly, many groups and people who call themselves Christian aren't, whether they're aware of it or not. They may think that they're living by certain standards but when measured by the Bible, the fruit of walking with God isn't evident in their lives. It took a while and wasn't easy but I ultimately did find a church that is solidly founded on scripture and not rules made up by man. It's a little nondenominational church in the East Texas woods that has an amazing reach far beyond our town. It shouldn't be this way, but churches like mine are actually kind of rare and we have to be careful to not get caught up in any of the false gospels that are being preached all over the place these days because that's what people like to hear. But again, if we stay close to our first love, we are safe with Him and guarded from deception.

I don't want to offend any of my Catholic family or friends but feel like it's time to be bold and bring this out in the open. Your church is deceiving masses of people and leading you down a bad road, away from God.

Ask Him for yourself to show you what's true and then seek it. You WILL find it and it's not confusing. The Truth is simple and clear. We don't need someone smarter than us to tell it to us or interpret for us. It doesn't require college degrees or ordination by man. Even shepherds and fishermen were able to understand and enter the kingdom of God! Come to Him with a pure heart and faith of a child, ask Jesus to show you the way and He will. Know Him for yourself and don't allow anyone to deceive you. Do it now. Today is the day.

Amen, Come Holy Spirit

Go Back In

Passover Redemption

Last night I had an interesting flash. I had been at Heather's at the Singles' Connect gathering and on the drive back to Tyler from Flint, I decided to go by the house of prayer for a little while since I knew they were having a 12-hour prayer watch and since it was also Passover.

When I got there, I headed straight for the restroom to freshen up so I could enjoy my time there. I quietly walked by friends, waving and whispering hellos on my way to the back hallway. And when I got into the bathroom, I had a flashback to all of the times I spent in little Montrose bars as a groupie of my friends' bands - the familiar faces, the band playing, the relaxed atmosphere, feeling at home, no pressure, wanting to get back out and join in what was happening - only this time I wasn't half drunk and trying to get all the way there. I wasn't going to do things that I knew were bad for me just for the thrill of it, I wasn't looking for trouble with people I knew I shouldn't be with. This time, I was with people who were there to honor God, people I could respect and feel safe with and I could go home and have no regrets the next day.

I sat next to my friend Pam, watched my friend Carolyn dance and thought about redemption.
This was my Passover celebration.

Thank You, Father.