Almost by accident, I remembered this blog that I'd started several years ago. Something big happened in my life last week. I told a few people who didn't seem to grasp the significance of what God has done. There were a few that celebrated with me (my manager at work was one of them) but I just felt like it wasn't enough; I needed to tell more people about it and express it fully, but how? Then I remembered that I'd put this blog together when the book was first published and maybe it was still out there somewhere on the interwebs. Surprisingly, I found it and was really inspired by the excellent posts, lol! So here I am, in my new prayer chair in my new prayer corner in my new paid-for house, just starting a new season of life at 65 years old and hope is gaining momentum again - hope that God isn't through with me yet, He has work for me to do and I'll produce FRUIT, FRUIT, LOTS OF FRUIT into my old age!
So last week I went to see my nurse practitioner for a 1-year followup. A year ago, I'd been experiencing intense heart palpitations that started after I'd been over-dieting (really starving myself). I'd lost 30 pounds but had some strange health incidents along the way (that's another story) and eventually made my way to a nutritionist who helped straighten me out but not before my heart rhythm got messed up. I suffered with it for over a year, trying to ignore it, praying and hoping it would just go away.
It didn't. Some nights I'd lay in bed, very aware of my heart struggling to pump blood, and ask God if it was going to keep beating and to make me ready if it was my time to leave here. Then I'd start repenting and finally enter exhausted sleep.
After six months of this, I sought "professional" advice (I hate western medicine! and that's another whole story...). The NP did an EKG and was alarmed and wanted to put me on medication. I wore a heart monitor for 10 days and found out that I was having thousands of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) per day. I went home and decided that I was desperate enough to give up refined sugar and caffeine altogether and see how that affected things since I didn't want to be on medication.
At the same time I was going through these withdrawls, I started dealing with some deep grief that had to do with my daughter, realizing the horrors she went through as a child and that she had blocked me from her life 2 years earlier (gone "no contact"). I started seeing a counselor at church, who taught me box breathing and EMDR and I began practicing these on my own, especially at night in bed. I began thinking that the emotional grief was affecting not only my spiritual heart but also my physical heart. I found that the EMDR coupled with the breathing could calm the irregular beats within 60 seconds but they would come back pretty quickly.
Then about six months ago I noticed that I hadn't felt the jumping around in my chest in a while. It came back a little but then seemed to completely stop but I wasn't sure if I had just stopped noticing it.
So last week was my 1-year followup. I told my NP that I hadn't felt any PVCs in a while, she flipped through my records and asked, "Did you have a procedure?" to which I replied, "no". Then she asked, "What have you done??" She obviously didn't really believe that they could be gone with no medical intervention. I told her about quitting sugar and caffeine, walking more and getting counseling. Then we did an EKG which confirmed that (drumroll)... they were GONE!
We spent several minutes talking about the things I'd done and she had lots of questions and was as excited as I was. When she left, I had a feeling that she'd be telling her husband about it that night. And I knew that God worked another miracle in my body just like how He formed new neural pathways in my brain and did what the medical community told me was impossible: to get free from depression without drugs.
And now He has caused my my heart to return to its natural rhythm through giving it the things He provided and teaching me how to release the grief. He is truly my comfort and healer and has put a new song in my heart.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil for You are with me
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4
Amen, Come Lord Jesus
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